Not to Teaneck

This story begins when Fred was born and we didn't have a first name for her. So we filled out that her last name should be Bronstein, and left the hospital, on the assumption that they would call us within 2 days as they had done for Gus.

Instead we got a birth certificate 6 weeks later that said "No Name Given" Weiss-Bronstein. Wrong on both accounts.

We submitted the forms to correct it, but the NYC Dept. decided that it was a case of adding the father's name, not fixing a mistake, so they rejected the paperwork. 

I called the hospital and they sent me a letter, but the letter said that it was not a hospital error. No go.

I called the hospital again and got a new letter that said it was a hospital error, but we lost it when we moved.

So I called again and got a new letter. Great.

Yesterday we went in to submit all the paperwork. 

Our trip started with me trying to fit a transformer together that was manufactured wrong, so it wouldn't fit. THEN, after 5 minutes, I noticed that there was a tag that said 'Contains lead, may cause birth defects'. And I'm pregnant! Great.

We get to downtown after 2 hours, park, and walk to the address listed on the website. Gus had refused to put on her coat, so she was freezing. Avaham picked her up, and I was carrying Fred, but between the baby belly, Fred, and her falling-off froggy boots, I had to put her down and walk with her very slowly for 2 blocs. We walk in, and they tell us we need to go somewhere 6 tenths of a mile away. We look up walking directions, but Avraham's blackberry is taking 5 minutes to load the map. So we decide to take a cab, but just in case, we go to get cash.

We go into the original Duane Reade, and the ATM rejects our card. Avraham tries again, and we get rejected again. So he calls Capital One, and they tell him there's a block due to suspicious activity which can only be remove in person at our branch. He yells at them re: being stranded in the city with kids, wife, and no car, then notices a CO bank across the street. He hangs up and we run across the street. We catch a cab, and go to the right building. After waiting in line, getting yelled at for the kids moving around, and having my blood sugar plummet, we get to the front. Fred is crying for food, Gus is hyper. We've been downtown, bouncing around, for 2 hours now. I present my paperwork, and the woman says that they don't correct paperwork for 2007 babies due to hospital error, and she doesn't believe it was a hospital error, so she wants the paperwork I filled out in the hospital 2 years ago. I tell her they no longer have it (yes, I'd asked), and she tells me I will need a court order to correct the birth certificate.

Which is completely untrue, but there's no point in arguing with her, so we leave. We get in a cab and ask to go to 105 Duane, but the guy thinks we want to go to Brooklyn. After explaining that he doesn't know Manhattan, he says "Can I help you?" in this cheerful voice, and I'm like "Clearly not!".

We get another taxi, get back to the car, fight through 30 minutes of traffic, get to the FDR (the girls pass out), go to the heights, and pick up Yitzhak and pizza, then go to Sarah's apartment. It's 3:40.

Anyhow, I rechecked the papers today, and I need a hospital error paper to fix the last name, and either immunization records, a letter from the doctor, or a religious document to add a first name. Luckily, the Rabbi who named my daughter is also her father, so we're going to re-submit everything by mail with a letter from THS.

I managed not to cry, scream, or throw anything after the whole morning, so I think I'm doing okay : )

Avraham ran a shiva minyan on the east side last night, so we were home a short 12 hours after we'd left.

So, no, we never made it to Teaneck.