so

i was accused of being a rebel yesterday, which raises the question of whether all non-conformity is truly rebellion or simply an expression of the reality that there's more than one way to do somehting.

i mean, yes, it was probably not so happy for a lot of people that i came to work wearing pants, but it was far from an act of rebellion.  far more an act of exhaustion, weariness at wearing ugly and uncomfortable clothes every day, and not wanting to have to bring clothes with me to change into for when we went out after work.

it bothers me that every non-comformist is labelled a rebel.  when i rebel, you will hear it loud and clear.  when i was rebelling, it was a middle finger aimed at the sky, and a big "screw you, god!".  not by following my own instincts.  that just makes me me.

i also know few rebels who would be working in the establishment like i have been, playing at being a nice little girl (some days i could pass for being from brooklyn.  it's kinda scary).  so i think i must conclude that while i've had wonderfully exciting rebellious stages (and i thoroughly enjoyed them and the pissing off of people that went with them), i have, alas, mostly grown out of it.

besides, i threw out my punk boots last year.